A Daughter's Revenge

Yesterday was a very long day in which most of my responses to Audrey's questions consisted of "not right now," "in a minute," I can't do that with you at the moment," "hold on a sec," etc. So last night I think she tried to get even with me for failing to give her the attention she wanted throughout the day. After supper, I left the girls with Fred and ventured off to the grocery store to pick up a few essentials. As I'm contentedly strolling through Kroger with my grocery cart, taking my sweet time and enjoying the break from the children, a lady comes up behind me and says, "ummm...you've got something stuck on your back. It looks like a Post-It ...or something." Sure enough, at some point prior to my leaving the house, Audrey, in a brilliant passive aggressive maneuver, had slapped a virtual "kick me" sign right between my shoulder blades. And it wasn't one of the small, square, subdued yellow post-its. Nope. It was one of those index card size hot pink ones that you just can't miss. I had been obliviously shopping away with it on my back for 45 minutes before this lady took pity on me. Now I know all the staring was NOT because of my pretty new lipstick. :(

That was revenge incident #1.

Revenge incident #2 takes place at 4:30 a.m. this morning when Audrey wanders into my bedroom and wakes me from a dead sleep, sobbing that she can't find her ballerina shoes. Conversation is as follows:
Me: "Honey, did you wear them to bed?"
Audrey: (sniff sniff) "I didn't."
Me: "Where did you leave them before you went to bed?"
Audrey: (sob) "I don't KNOW!!"
Me: "Well, we'll find them in the morning, please go back to bed."
Audrey: "But I want them WIGHT NOW!"
Me: (wanting to argue but realizing the futility in doing so) "Fine, I'll find them."
----I get up, get my robe on, and notice the shoes sitting on the trunk at the end of my bed--
Me: "Oh look, here they are! Mommy found them. Here you go."
Audrey: "But I (sniff sniff) don't want them (sniff) now."
---She shuffles back to bed, leaving me with shoes in hand and completely exasperated.

Child: 2
Mom: 0